Tuesday, March 29, 2011

It Ain't The Meat It's The Motion

Please note that Mr. Bunndini is eating spaghetti for breakfast and also now has a manly fan with a manly blog: The Better Man

Monday, March 28, 2011

Don't Let The Bartender Pick Your Cocktails

Mr. Bunndini drank far too much on Saturday night and at one point found himself in a napkin haiku writing fugue state at an irish bar near the convention centre.

This one was for the musical entertainment:

Chubby celtic guy
Why man can't you play Jolene
Expand your playlist

This one was for our friend whose girlfriend had literally broken up with him an hour earlier. He was sad but multiple Jameson shots helped mend his heart:

Bowers that's not good
Girlfriend dumped you on the phone
Salty peanut fish

I may have also given our cab driver a haiku napkin concerning intoxicated hamsters but who can remember.

Friday, March 25, 2011

This Just In......

Horratio suffers from irritable bowel syndrome and a permanently broken heart. He is looking for someone to come over to his apartment tonight to eat a nice cheese plate and watch Cool Hand Luke with him. Open to all ages, sizes and genders but must have muscular upper arms and love Motown music. Interested parties apply within. 

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Cough Medication Haiku Of The Day

Is it a dry cough?

Highway to the danger zone
Unicorns are real

Yes Neo Citran
You can be my new best friend

Codeine cough syrup
Hey there captain inhaler
More baby carrots

Zip a dee doo da
Twice the recommended dose
Stop ignoring me

Monday, March 21, 2011

You Had Me At Glockenspiel

Calliope Lou and his trusty sidekick/life partner Willy Snackenknockers are taking up a collection to get them to the Calgary Stampede this year. Donations accepted in cash or Blockbuster coupons.

Friday, March 18, 2011

Old Italian Man Wants You To Sample His Cooking Haiku Of The Day

The spicy meat sauce
Itsa nice and tangy

Be careful the balls
They may be a bit too firm
Oh mama mia

Friday, March 11, 2011

Bunion Haiku Of The Day

What’s that on my foot
Making a hole in my sock
Must get looser shoes

Oh tiny bunion
I will name you Clementine
Swollen bursal sac

It rhymes with onion
Eating yogurt won't cure it
Joint swelling and pain

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Man With A Russian Accent Trying To Convince You To Go To An Ecstasy Party Haiku Of The Day

We go with Yuri
To dance party in basement
You bring hot girlfriend

It has heated seats
New BMW car
Vodka in glove box

My friend is DJ
He plays Russian house music
Just take pill and dance

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Islands In The Stream

POOKIE SNACKENBURGER (verb, noun): A combination of an OINGO BOINGO and WANG CHUNG that negates any positive or negative connotations associated with either.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Linguine Fettucini Martini Bikini

Please to be having a good time in Mexico Dr. Mavis Stapler and don't forget to apply a liberal helping of sunscreen.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Blame It On The Bossa Nova

OINGO BOINGO (verb): A female wearing clothing only on the upper portion of her body. Generally considered sexy by any gender or sexual orientation. The feminine equivalent of a WANG CHUNG.

Example of use in a sentence: She oingo boingo-ed and it made my oingo go boingo.