Thursday, May 26, 2011

50% Cotton 50% Crankiness

Mr. Bunndini has had a big pair of cranky pants on for days. My pants are so cranky that even repeatedly looking at this photo of an otter holding a tiny otter baby is not helping. It does help slightly when I imagine the otter saying "For christ sakes just take the baby for one night Calvin. It's driving me up the wall and the girls are picking me up for bingo in twenty minutes."

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Cats Don't High Five

Look Barry if you don't want to be friends it's totally cool but you don't need to be all rude about it.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

The Day Of Non-Judgment Has Finally Arrived

Mr. Bunndini woke up with a hangover and a very sore neck so will be spending the rest of this rainy Sunday languishing in a hot bath listening to the cheers of hockey fans coming from open windows throughout the neighbourhood. Go Blue Jays!

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Mix Tape Of The Apocalypse

According to the interweb today is judgment day. Mr. Bunndini generally likes to live his life in a state of non-judgment so I will be safe but allegedly all the judgey people will get beamed up into some fiery bouncy castle of judgment in the sky where they will spend the rest of their days eating fine cheeses with Mr. Jesus. I wish them well on their journey and have created a musical playlist just for them. Happy trails.

Blondie "Rapture"
R.E.M. "It's The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)"
The Bee Gees "Stayin Alive"
Gloria Gaynor "I Will Survive"
Barry McGuire "Eve Of Destruction"
Doris Day "Que Sera Sera"
Europe "The Final Countdown"
The Temptations "Get Ready"
Modern English "I Melt With You"
Belinda Carlyle "Heaven Is A Place On Earth"
Bob Marley "Redemption Song"
Ohio Players "Fire"
Traveling Wilbury's "End Of The Line"
Blue Oyster Cult "Don't Fear The Reaper"
ACDC "Highway To Hell"
Crowded House "Don't Dream It's Over"
Connie Francis "Who's Sorry Now"
Olivia Newton John "Xanadu"
Led Zeppelin "Stairway To Heaven"

Friday, May 20, 2011

Stanley Cup World Series Superbowl Haiku Of The Day

Gordie Howe hat trick
Is that some kind of sandwich?
Will it ever end

How can a season
Last for an entire year?
Tan lines on skates

Walking on Main Street
Playoff beard or hipster dude?
Hanson brothers specs

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

It's A Bunndini World After All

Today's forecast is cloudy with a chance of disappointing news and a high probability of yelling at someone on the phone and/or soup for lunch.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Another Round Of Jameson And Pickle Juice

CHEESEBURGER BIRDS (noun): The unmistaken mating call of a particular species of bird frequently heard by persons stumbling home at dawn under the influence of alcohol and/or illicit drugs. Often triggers a strong and immediate craving for greasy fast food.

(Also known as the black crested chickadee by bird enthusiasts and people not prone to staying out all night.)

Monday, May 9, 2011

Unsatisfying Menu Option Haiku Of The Day

Hey place up the street
Why always with the yam fries?
Soggy confusion

Friday, May 6, 2011

More Bad Jokes My Coffee Table Tells Me

Question: What is invisable and smells like carrots?
Answer: Bunny farts.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Career Opportunities

Here are the main topics of conversation overheard in the hallway outside my office over the past six months listed in order of popularity:

1. Salad dressing
2. Dancing With The Stars
3. Last nights yoga class
4. Dog walking/pooping/treats
5. How does this blender work?