Monday, January 20, 2014

Sweet Dreams Are a Made Of Cheese Who Am I To Dis This Brie

I travelled the world and the seven seas everybodies carving this pumpkin.

Friday, January 17, 2014

All The Judgement

I have the biggest crankiest pants on today and am in a restaurant frequented by young hip types whilst waiting for a very late friend to show up. Here is a snapshot of the people at the tables around me:

Your name is Bronwen and you are a fat vegan.
Your name is Tyler and your breath smells like corn chips.
Your name is Elias and that beard hides your weak chin.
Your name is Jacob and you eat burritos on crowded buses.
Your name is Sevyn but your real name is Kristen.
Your name is Matt and you wear a big stupid red toque all year round.
Your name is Cam and you only date asian girls.
Your name is Jenni always with an i.
Your name is Geoffrey and you still pee the bed sometimes.
Your name is Courtney and your photography career isn't really panning out how you thought it would.

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Estaban Was Eaten

ZISSOU SITUATION (verb): A state of undress whereby a male or female is attired in a toque and any number of other clothing and/or underclothing combinations.

Example of use in a sentence: "Who can really blame her for pulling a major zissou in the hot tub the other night. It was only 6 degrees out."

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Nuder Than Your Average Bear

YOGI THE BEAR (verb): A state of undress whereby a male or female wears only a neck tie and nothing else. Said ensemble could also include a collar and cuffs but only on very special occasions.