Monday, June 28, 2010


Shopping for business casual pants can be a daunting task. It is important to make sure there is enough room in the crotch area to sit comfortably all day long or else chafing may occur.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Axe Body Spray

BATCH (noun): A mysterious and invisible pheromone excreted by an otherwise appealing single man which renders him completely undesirable to the opposite sex. This condition can be chronic. Example of use in a sentence: "He may drive a porsche and look like Johnny Depp but with that rampant case of batch the best he can hope for is a friendly handshake".

SPINST (noun): The female version of this illness which rarely advances to the chronic stage.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Vegetable Medley

CORNING (verb): The act of nibbling a friends arm as if it were a cob of corn. Often occurs under the presence of excessive alcohol consumption.

Friday, June 18, 2010

In The City of LA

Mr Bunndini enjoys the finer things in life.

Drinking exotic spirits and expensive wines.

Dining on the finest cuisine money can buy.

Making love all night long.


Or just holding hands.

In the words of Oscar Wilde "“I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.”

Thursday, June 17, 2010


Mr. Bunndini went to San Francisco! I'm not sure who this is but she looked really excited to be there.

I stayed here. The water was warm but the wind was cold so I was afraid to go in. This may or may not be metaphor for life.

I made a whole bunch of new friends but they seemed to have a pretty tight knit clique so once again I felt alone in a crowd. This may also be a metaphor for life.

I drank a lot of drinks which were surprisingly strong. They have an amazing invention called "Happy Hour".

I also learned you can drink more when you eat chips. This only happens in the United States of America so do not try it in any other country or you will get too drunk and have to go back to the hotel and lie down.

As you know I love shopping and stocked up on flamboyant taxidermy and jaunty scarves.

Also there was an opportunity to experience new and exotic crackers which one should never pass up.

Monday, June 14, 2010

It's Getting Hot In Here

My Bunndini is on a top secret wig shopping expedition in California and cannot be reached at this time. Please leave a message and he will get back to you as soon as he can.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Good Golly Miss Molly

BALL CHURNING (verb): Continual, unrelenting correspondence from a suitor who does not yet realize that he/she has been deemed unworthy. Often arises immediately after the occurrence of an Old Spaghetti Factory situation.

In some rare but serious occurrences the perpetrator can also be one's mother.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Spicy Meat Sauce

You may be surprised to learn that Mr. Bunndini has made his fair share of relationship gaffs. Yes it's true that I may not have always been the smooth operator I am today but I've always known how to treat a lady when it comes to fine dining establishments. Recently my dear friend Pollyanna had an unfortunate experience on a date which, while uncomfortable at the time, now serves as a warning to all unattached hopeful people looking for love. She had to suffer so the rest of us could live fruitful and fulfilling lives and for that we thank her. So I will say this only once and if you do not take heed then don't come running to Mr. Bunndini after everything falls to pieces. Single people you have now all been warned ........ unless under the influence of irony or hallucinogens, The Old Spaghetti Factory is NOT a great place to take someone on a second date. Although there is nothing wrong with a little spumoni in the caboose among consenting adults.

OLD SPAGHETTI FACTORY SITUATION (noun, verb, adj): An inadvertent and inexcusable faux-pas occurring at an early stage in a non-platonic relationship so dire as to thus terminate any possibly chance of said relationship continuing.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Flaco the Taco

Oh Flaco you were my first love. My endless love.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

He's Not On The Menu

BISQUE (noun): A rich creamy soup typically made with shellfish, esp. lobster

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Ass, Gas or Grass

Mr. Bunndini gets invited to a lot of fancy cocktail parties (which should surprise no one). Often at these parties he finds himself in the middle of confusing political conversations but he laughs along with all the other guests and nods his head knowingly. One such recent tête-à-tête was regarding the smell one's urine takes on after ingesting the vegetable asparagus. Mr. Bunndini was confused because A) he eats a lot of asparagus and B) he smells his pee thoroughly before disposing of it. He felt left out and after doing an exhaustive scientific study (also know as surfing the interweb) he determined that our bodies all break down the complex proteins in asparagus in the same way and all of our urine then takes on the malodorous stink but some of us who are very very special (like Mr. Bunndini) just simply cannot smell it. So to put it into scientific terms - either you dealt it OR you dealt it and you also smelt it. If anyone wants to test this hypothesis it would involve eating asparagus with Mr. Bunndini and then smelling each others pee. Interested parties enquire within.

Also, Mr Bunndini is not sure why he's speaking in the third person today but it may have something to do with the lack of red vines in his system. He's going to California next week and hopes to rectify that situation. One final note is that Mr. Bunndini will not be using the word "rectify" in this forum again unless specifically speaking about his (or someone else's) rectum.