Tuesday, April 30, 2013

These Cranky Pants Sure Could Use A Wash

17 Animals That Don't Even Know What Just Happened To Them

When they run out of Brooklyn Lager at The Rumpus Room.


17 Animals That Don't Even Know What Just Happened To Them

When someone asks me to help them move.


17 Animals That Don't Even Know What Just Happened To Them

When Ikea is full of screaming children.


17 Animals That Don't Even Know What Just Happened To Them

When I'm asked if I want to work for free because it will be "great exposure".


17 Animals That Don't Even Know What Just Happened To Them

When I first see my white veiny legs in the sun after a long winter.


17 Animals That Don't Even Know What Just Happened To Them

When my mom tries to talk to me about her sex life.


17 Animals That Don't Even Know What Just Happened To Them

When I smell my own breath after eating spicy noodles at Sha Lin.



When I get an invite to a baby shower.



When someone tells me that they would be excellent at my job because they have really really great taste in music.


17 Animals That Don't Even Know What Just Happened To Them

When I run into that person I drunkenly made out with that one time.

Sunday, April 28, 2013

Saturday, April 27, 2013

I'm Just Going To Book A Flight To Houston


I'm just going to do it. Right now. As soon as I hear back from Algae. Right now. On Expedia. All by myself. Seriously. 

Monday, April 15, 2013

Pug Is A Battlefield


I blame my anti-social weekend behaviour on a two day hangover, a glut of spaghetti bolognese and relentless overcast skies.  

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Who Let the Squirrels Out


Remember that one time on new years day morning when due to a technical glitch none of our iphone alarms went off and Dr. Stapler missed her flight back to Philadelphia?

Friday, April 12, 2013

Everybodys Working For The Weekend


Fat Sal, Fran├žoise and Mr. Kobayashi want to go off the deep end and get it right, get it right. Just a note that if you want a piece of their heart you better start from the start. Additionally, if you want to be in their show then c'mon baby go.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Are We There Yet?



If I ever use the acronym TGIF please shiv me in the face immediately but seriously this work week is moving at the speed of molasses. 

Monday, April 8, 2013

Hey Big Spender


I'm so old that I wore those "vintage" clothes when they were new.

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Geez Louise


I'm so old that I took a course in third year university on the "information super highway" and our first assignment was to get an "email address". I wrote my papers on a typewriter.

Saturday, April 6, 2013

I'm Going To Nap All Weekend And I Don't Care Who Knows It


The weather man/woman/app predicts relentless rain all weekend, I just ate a gigantic bowl of steal cut oatmeal, have brand new jammies and am laundering all my bedding and fluffy couch blankets to prepare myself for two days of deep sloth. Deal with it. 

Friday, April 5, 2013

I Actually Like A Dense Loaf



The roasted turkey and havarti sandwich (with cucumber on cranberry pistachio bread) from Terra Breads puts me into a fugue state. It is also the only acceptable utilization of chutney.