It Ain't The Meat It's The Motion

Please note that Mr. Bunndini is eating spaghetti for breakfast and also now has a manly fan with a manly blog: The Better Man. 

Don't Let The Bartender Pick Your Cocktails

Mr. Bunndini drank far too much on Saturday night and at one point found himself in a napkin haiku writing fugue state at an irish bar near the convention centre.

This one was for the musical entertainment:

Chubby celtic guy

Why man can't you play Jolene

Expand your playlist

This one was for our friend whose girlfriend had literally broken up with him an hour earlier. He was sad but multiple Jameson shots helped mend his heart:

Bowers that's not good

Girlfriend dumped you on the phone

Salty peanut fish

I may have also given our cab driver a haiku napkin concerning intoxicated hamsters but who can remember.

This Just In......

Horratio suffers from irritable bowel syndrome and a permanently broken heart. He is looking for someone to come over to his apartment tonight to eat a nice cheese plate and watch Cool Hand Luke with him. Open to all ages, sizes and genders but must have muscular upper arms and love Motown music. Interested parties apply within. 

Cough Medication Haiku Of The Day

Is it a dry cough?

Highway to the danger zone

Unicorns are real

Yes Neo Citran

You can be my new best friend

Cheesapalooza!

Codeine cough syrup

Hey there captain inhaler

More baby carrots

Zip a dee doo da

Twice the recommended dose

Stop ignoring me

You Had Me At Glockenspiel

Calliope Lou and his trusty sidekick/life partner Willy Snackenknockers are taking up a collection to get them to the Calgary Stampede this year. Donations accepted in cash or Blockbuster coupons.

Old Italian Man Wants You To Sample His Cooking Haiku Of The Day

The spicy meat sauce

Itsa nice and tangy

Fuggedaboutit

Be careful the balls

They may be a bit too firm

Oh mama mia

In A Glass Case Of Emotion

If It's Yellow Let It Mellow

Bunion Haiku Of The Day

What’s that on my foot

Making a hole in my sock

Must get looser shoes

Oh tiny bunion

I will name you Clementine

Swollen bursal sac

It rhymes with onion
Eating yogurt won't cure it
Joint swelling and pain

Man With A Russian Accent Trying To Convince You To Go To An Ecstasy Party Haiku Of The Day

We go with Yuri

To dance party in basement

You bring hot girlfriend

It has heated seats

New BMW car

Vodka in glove box

My friend is DJ

He plays Russian house music

Just take pill and dance

Glockenbaccasquirrel (expialidocious)

Islands In The Stream

POOKIE SNACKENBURGER (verb, noun): A combination of an OINGO BOINGO and WANG CHUNG that negates any positive or negative connotations associated with either.

Linguine Fettucini Martini Bikini

Please to be having a good time in Mexico Dr. Mavis Stapler and don't forget to apply a liberal helping of sunscreen.

Blame It On The Bossa Nova

OINGO BOINGO (verb): A female wearing clothing only on the upper portion of her body. Generally considered sexy by any gender or sexual orientation. The feminine equivalent of a WANG CHUNG.

Example of use in a sentence: She oingo boingo-ed and it made my oingo go boingo.