Little Lord Jauntelroy

PAJAMA MONSTER (noun): A person who has not left their apartment (or the general neighbourhood of their apartment) in several days due to injury, sickness or laziness. Clad in the same pair of sweatpants or pajamas for the duration of the self imposed confinement.

Here are the things the Pajama Monster may do:
Eat random items that can be prepared in 4 minutes or less (including pickled eggs, crackers, soup and more soup), blow it's nose and let the dirty kleenexes pile up on the coffee table, have a nap, watch bad movies on Movie Central because they are free, wear one sock, sneeze frequently and go to Whole Foods with it's hair standing up on one side wearing saggy sweat pants to buy overpriced mac and cheese.

The Pajama Monster does not under any circumstances do any of the following:

Bathe, put in contact lenses, answer the phone when it's mother calls, laundry, open the blinds, use the oven and wear a bra.