Wednesday, February 4, 2015

When I Say Wednesday You Say Bite Me

If you are any of the following please leave a meassage after the tone that I will return never:

1. A sad angry ball of old elastic bands rolling around in the bottom of a drawer full of dusty newspapers and empty gin bottles.

2. A passive agressive cold sore on the lip of progress.

3. A day-old cold cappuccino made with curdled unsweetened soy milk that may be mistakenly sipped from as it resides directly next to the freshly made cup which now is tainted by the indiscretion.

4. The wailing child who lives beneath me who has a vastly sliding scale of a bed time.

5. A selfish jerk of a baby of a jerk of a salty crusty binge-drinking jerk.

6. Any other non-specified jerks.

7. Any people who tolerate the jerks and blame the non-jerks for the jerks jerkiness.

8.  The smell at the bottom of the recycling bin after a week long tuna sandwich bender.

9. Pus in all it's many incarnations.

10. Yo mamma.