Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Watermelon, Watermelon, Motherfucker, Watermelon


The people who predict the weather have predicted that it will be minus one degrees in Calgary this weekend which normally would not alarm me except for the fact that I will be in Calgary this weekend attending a music conference and would prefer it to not be that temperature. The good news is there is a Gravity Pope shoe store around the corner from the hotel I am staying at and also Calgary has beer.

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Wise Words From Gaylords: Volume One


True friends stab you in the front
- Oscar Wilde

Monday, September 23, 2013

Sisterhood Of The Travelling Stapler



Welcome back from Germany Dr. Stapler. As my grandmother would often say Betäubungsmittelverschreibungsverordnung lebensabschnittpartner freundschaftsbezeigungen siebentausendzweihundertvierundfünfzig.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Good God Lemon


After several months of working from home I have yet to see a downside. Yes there are the occasional days when I speak only to actual human beings via email and my hair has gone unwashed for far longer than is healthy but the lack of waistbands, commuting and annoying co-worker conversations far make up for the anti-social lack of hygiene. One part of my routine is going for nice long walks in the middle of the day to forage for food. Today I walked in the slightly crisp early fall air to Granville Island where the tourists have now thinned out enough to not want to shiv them all. I bought the Siegel's caraway seed bagels (which are far superior to Solly's over-doughy ones). I bought the double smoked salmon from the place with the overpriced seafood that all the tourists take photos of. I stopped at the craft sake place and sampled one of their newest vintages. I picked up the mail and some paper of the toilet variety and walked home only to discover that I had forgotten the cream cheese. I'm substituting sour cream but it's just not the same.

Friday, September 13, 2013

Stop, Jammy Time

SWEATPANTSESTHESIA (noun) |ˈswetˌpantsˈTHēZHə: The phenomenon whereby a person comes to the realization that ones sleeping clothing, hanging around the house clothing and running errands clothing have all become the same. 

DERIVATIVESsweatpantsesthete |ˈswetˌpants THēt(noun)sweatpantsesthetic |-ˈTHetik(adjective)