1. I will not use the term "boyfriend" again. At my advanced age it seems untoward and immature. From now on future romantic partners will instead be forever referred to as "my gentleman lover" or "Juan Carlos" (regarding of his actual name).
2. Someone should make a corn dog that instead of a wiener has a banana in the middle.
3. To me there is no difference between using a dryer sheet and not using one. This may actually be a huge conspiracy that nobody is talking about.
4. I may have just publicly blown the lid right off the dryer sheet conspiracy. If I mysterious disappear without a trace you know who did it.