Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Random 4am Insomnia Thoughts

1. I can't wait until people stop naming their children Emmett, Bramble, Sadie and Calliope and start naming them Dennis, Linda, Steve, Diane and Susan again. Bring back Darlene! 

2. If I had a punk band I would definitely call it The Trots.

3. You should never let your friends cut your hair even if it's what they do for a living.

4. Clitoris Leachman is a good porn name as is Mayor McCheese.

5. Some actors use the physical device of averting their eyes slightly to convey puzzled uncertainty, indecision or astonishment. Julia Roberts and Sarah Jessica Parker are two of the biggest culprits of this form of lazy acting. Once you notice this you can't unnoticed it ever again.

6. Why is all the instant oatmeal that you can buy at Whole Foods so bland and terrible?


  1. 1. Brenda
    2. Wendy and the mini dogs
    3., 4. agreed
    5. those two also can't cry worth shit
    6. no salt or sugar.

  2. Thanks Doctor Stapler. I will now move on to the next list of things to obsessively think about at 4am. Stay tuned for further updates.

  3. Ain't nobody got time for that shit.