Every muscle in my entire body hurts for the past week for no apparent reason. I can only turn my head one way which I'm trying to turn into a charming affectation while out in public. At home I'm all heating pads, prescription pain killers and netflix. I would literally shiv a hundred babies for a massage right now but can't get an appointment until Monday morning. There is nothing else in my life to complain about right now so this trivial problem will have to suffice.