Can You Hear The Guns Cilantro?

I'm not going to lie to you. I'm pretty excited about my trip to Texas in June.

A Typical Weekend In The Bunndini Household

It always starts out innocently enough with a nice early morning dog walk with KT Zottenberg in Pacific Spirit Park.

Then home for some leisure pursuits. That stack of books from Powell's isn't going to read itself.

Mr. Furley recorded all your stories.

Then once all the woodsy mud and dog smells are washed off you are ready to go out for a quick bite and a cocktail. 

But the bite is never quick and the cocktails are always plentiful.

And next thing you know it's Sunday morning. Your head hurts from drinking, your face hurts from laughing and your stomach hurts from eating but it's worth it every time.

Worst. Hangover. Ever.

 

YOU HEARD ME

What A Load Of

Balderdash

Fiddle faddle

Hooey

Poppycock

Malarky

Hogwash

Monkey business

Claptrap

Tommyrot

Baloney

Flapdoodle

Codswallop

Horse feathers 

Shenanigans

Hokum

Tomfoolery 

Rigmarole 

Panda Baby (sung to the tune of Santa Baby)

If your dark Monday is not made brighter by the thought of these baby pandas rolling around on your office floor then you have an empty pit where your heart should be (or you are just wearing really really tight cranky pants). No judgement.

That Kitten Is Really Going To Town On Mr. Pugglesworth

Every muscle in my entire body hurts for the past week for no apparent reason. I can only turn my head one way which I'm trying to turn into a charming affectation while out in public. At home I'm all heating pads, prescription pain killers and netflix. I would literally shiv a hundred babies for a massage right now but can't get an appointment until Monday morning. There is nothing else in my life to complain about right now so this trivial problem will have to suffice. 

Brush Your Teeth With A Pine Cone

His stripper name is Noodles Moneybags but his real name is Milton Birnbaum.

Spring Has Allegedly Sprung

I'm happy to not have to wear socks until October

Poultry In Motion

As per Dr. Mavis Stapler's suggestion I am starting a new band called Jews Newton. 

Musicians can apply via fax only to 1-800-LOX-RULZ.

I Put Sriracha In My Hummus For The First Time And I Was All Like

We're Here! We're Steer! Get Used To It!

Is This Post Is Just An Excuse To Watch This Bunny In A Jaunty Apple Chapeau Adorably Chewing Over And Over Again?

I Got 99 Problems But Pastrami Fries Ain't One

The trip to Portland consisted of: 

64% eating and drinking

13% walking around

4% making fun of Walter

2% taxidermied rats

7% book and shoe shopping

10% train waving