Paging Doctor Stapler

I'm super excited to pick you up at the airport tomorrow and then take bunch of ferries and drink a bunch of negroni's (but not necessarily in that exact order) with you. 

Can Everyone Just Setttle Down Already

He's On A Pension You Know

Working On My Night Cheese

I'm putting on my winter gravy weight right now and may need bigger pants. 

Send Ben & Jerrys Scotchy Scotch Scotch ice cream stat.

If The Questions Is Who Had The Worst Sleep Last NIght

Then the answer is Mr. Bunndini with the foghorn in the bedroom.

That Is Some Flaky Shit

Hashtag Hamsterharmonicaparty

I could really use an assistant but I don't want to explain anything or talk to anyone if I don't absolutely have to. Furthermore my systems of organization are so finely honed and obsessively organized that no human could possibly do them the justice they deserve without a lot of explaining and coaching which I do not have the patience, energy or desire to do. The solution is clearly to train small rodents to help with my work load. I will provide room and board but no extended health care. Apply with resume to hamsterzgottaworktoo@gmail.com.

Phoney Negroni Baloney

Mr. Bunndini is so very hungover today. The blinds are drawn and the seven dollar lemon banana kale juice from Whole Foods will be consumed in a prone position on the couch in 3-24 minutes depending on how chatty the person on the other end of my last phone call of the day is.

Yes That Is Stuffing In My Pants And I Am Also Glad To See You

If the question is what is the best part of thanksgiving dinner then the answer is, and will always be, stuffing.

Pacific Spirit Park Nature Walk Gets Ugly

I Left My Liver In Alberta

Watermelon, Watermelon, Motherfucker, Watermelon

The people who predict the weather have predicted that it will be minus one degrees in Calgary this weekend which normally would not alarm me except for the fact that I will be in Calgary this weekend attending a music conference and would prefer it to not be that temperature. The good news is there is a Gravity Pope shoe store around the corner from the hotel I am staying at and also Calgary has beer.