All That And A Bag Of Apricots

Please accept this photo essay as a creative interpretation of my day minus one brief bout of vacuuming, a hot bath and several trips to the kitchen for snacks. Thank you for your support.

If One More Producers Asks Me For Dub Step I'm Going To Explode

What Will Be Happening At Black + Blue Tomorrow Night

Is That A Sharp Object In Your Pants Or Are You Just Glad To See Me?

Mr. Bunndini remembers the carefree days youth fondly. Riding my bike without a helmet alone to the store at the tender age of 5 to buy my mother a pack of Craven A menthol cigarettes and spending the change on a bag of dill pickle chips. Building tree forts in abandoned lots with the help of a bag of old rusty nails and the neighbourhood drunk. In the summertime my brother and I would hang around the local beach all day waiting for strangers to buy us ice cream (strangers who were often naked stoned hippies). As long as we were home when the streetlights came on we were considered safe.

But alas the poor children of today when not strapped to leashes disguised as panda backpacks are on a tight schedule of structured play dates, tsunami drills, emergency cel phones and amber alert paranoia. Or at least I think they are. I try not to spend too much time with children I'm not directly related to. Notwithstanding all those toys that were taken off the market due to the accidental death of a child or ten are no less fun and entertaining today. Thus I suggest the following web site:

WWW.BANNEDTOYS.COM

Don't Harsh My Mellow Dude

If I want to not shower for 36 hours and then lie on the couch in my sweatpants all night eating over-priced kung pao tofu from Whole Foods and watching Deadliest Catch re-runs sandwiched between intervals of cold beer drinking, belching, watching baby otter videos on youtube and making Wham-heavy playlists for my friends and you don't like it then you can just come over here and ring my buzzer and I will not answer it any more then I answered it the other day when the Jehovah's Witnesses in their fancy suits came calling and I will tell you the same thing I told my them and my bra this morning which is that I'm just not that into you right now ok so maybe you can just make a note to get in touch with me another time maybe by text because I don't like talking on the phone unless I really have to. Thank you for your support (or lack there of it in the case of my bra).

Guess Who Is Not Allergic To Clams?

Mr. Bunndini passed his allergy tests with flying colours today. I am not deathly allergic to anything but do have to avoid ingesting histamine releasers en masse. So no red wine, shellfish, MSG, tuna, tomoatoes, strawberries, chocolate and caffeine all at one meal. Also, I should avoid getting stung by a swarm of bees but that's just common sense.

My Entire Cheerleading Career Has Been A Lie

Still Waiting For The Fed-Ex Dude To Show Up

I Believe I Can Fly

Henry T. Perky Walks It Off

Eat Some Cake Dr. Stapler

It's your birthday!

Do Not Go Chasing Waterfalls

Oh The Humanity

Sid the cat went missing for two nights and thanks to countless prayers to St Anthony and an ad in the penny saver he has returned safely with frosty eye intact. Mr. Bunndini would like to advise Sid to limit his future outings to short jaunts during daylight hours only as he is 112 years old and could easily get eaten by an armadillo and/or possum.

One Hairball Away From The Big Closet In The Sky

My Anaconda Don't Want None

Potato Tattoo On My Forehead

Mr. Bunndini is waiting at his desk for a conference call that is now 56 minutes late. The sun has not hit the patio yet but in 2-5 hours I intend to fully focus my attention on napping on the couch out there.

I'm Talking To You Mr. Repeatedly Rev Your Engine At 6am For No Apparent Reason

Take The Day Off Dr. Stapler