My Cold Is Finally Gone So I Can Resume My Questionable Lifestyle Choices

First she's like....

And then she's all like....

I Knew That Mixing Beer and Champagne Was A Bad Idea

When It's Right It's Right

Thinking 'bout you's working up my appetite. Gonna eat another bag of this turkish delight.

Can I Borrow Your Stapler?

Today is the first day that Mr. Bunndini is officially working from home full time. All the time. Forever and ever. No one asked me how my weekend was, I may still be wearing sweatpants and my work efficiency has increased to such a rate that I'm knocking off early to have a late lunch at Slickity Jim's with a pal. Even the sound of leaf blowers outside my window cannot dull my mood.

It's Actually Pronounced JIF

By All Means Move At A Glacial Pace Power Washer Dude, You Know How That Thrills Me.

Reasons for being angry today:

1. Snot

2. Leaf blowers

3. Power washers

4. Relentless mysterious banging noises

5. Asshole babies crying downstairs

6. Dead bamboo

7. Rain

8. Midge bites that still itch after a week

9. Paper cuts

10. The US postal service

Reasons for not being angry today:

1. Pandas

Whoa

His pageant name is Stanley "Debonair" McIntyre and his pie hole is ram jammed with a shit ton of fluffy gowns and accessories.

Please Don't Take The Remote

It's the only thing holding me together right now. 

I Said Das Hemd Das Klempt And I Really Meant It

The saga of the midge bites continues but with the help of anti-histamines and lanacane the itching has subsided to a manageable level.  I do however have a map of tiny red scabs all over my legs that are not particularly attractive but I think if I connect them all with a pen that a beautiful drawing of the virgin mary will appear. Dog bless America.

I Clean My Gun And Dream Of Galveston

In the continuing series of unedited photos taken from the back seat of a moving car I present you with a road trip from Houston to the bustling mecca of Galveston Texas:

Shramps Like Us Baby We Were Born To Run

You know that thing where you go to Houston to visit Dr. Stapler and then you eat a shit ton of craw fish but it's way too salty because they over did it on the Old Bay seasoning.

So you have to drink all the Shiner Bocks because it's so damn salty and you even eat the craw fish guts and suck the brains from their salty heads because that's just what you do. 

And all the wet naps with American flags on them ever made in the history of wet naps will not make your hands clean ever again and that guy playing blues guitar three inches behind your table will not care nor will that super drunk guy with the red face who needed that pole to hold him up.

Even two servings of jalapeno boudin balls cannot protect you from a thousand midge bites which later you will get from drinking aforementioned Shiner Bock on a patio all night long in your shorts but it it will be totally worth every itchy bug bite and salty finger to hang out with your pals and you wish you could do it more often.

Houston Can Feel It Coming In The Air Tonight

Hold on. Mr. Bunndini and Algae Frankenstein are flying to Houston tomorrow to visit with Dr. Mavis Stapler and can barely contain their collective excitement. Dr. Stapler will have Shiner Bock waiting for them because she is that kind of doctor. 

First Bike Ride Of The Year Along The Seawall

A Question

Dr. Stapler do you have a hair dryer at your place?

Gird Your Loins Houston

.....and stock up on beer and triscuits.

Everybody Wants To Drink Beer On A Patio Today

His Stripper Name Is Walter "The Yolk" Goldberg

Even the downstairs baby crying extensively at 3am did not spoil the spectacular 10 hour sleep I had last night. I would like to thank beer, the episode of Mad Men I fell asleep watching (for the third time) and sweatpants. I couldn't have done it without you.