Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Donuts Are The Government Cheese Of Pastries


The hotel in Portland was nice enough to provide us with our own "goldfish companions" in our room. Their names were Eduardo and Barbara Lieberman. We assumed they were a couple going through a rough patch because Eduardo exhibited some typical passive aggressive behaviour and the more Barbara ignored him the worst it got. On our first night Mr. Bunndini made a drunken misstep and fed Barbara Lieberman a wheat thin cracker despite the protestations of Dr. Stapler. Luckily I was lucid enough to leave a note for her should anything so awry. This note read as follows: "Don't die Barbara Lieberman. Call 911 if there is trouble". I blame the beer.

4 comments:

  1. Eduardo's pie hole was clearly ram jammed with a shit ton of negative vibes.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Which for fish is slightly less dangerous than being ram jammed with a wheat thin.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Also, orchids are the anal sex of house plants.

    ReplyDelete
  4. You don't want to start with orchids.

    ReplyDelete