When Someone Tells Me The Mix Is Going To Go Until 8pm

When I Try To Wake Up For A 9am Meeting After A Night At The Alibi Room

When My Big Girl Pants Are Too Tight

Talk Hockey To Me

That Shit Is Bananas

Mr. Bunndini cannot eat a banana if it has any brown spots on it. I demand extreme under-ripeness. I will however save the brown squishy ones in the fridge to make banana cupcakes with and then never actually make banana cupcakes and then guiltily throw them all out after a year and start the process all over again.

This Wouldn't Happen If I Didn't Love Beer So Much

Let Me Just Get That Piece Of Spinach For You

His Stripper Name Is JuJube

It's Tuesday morning and Mr. Bunndini is made up of the following:

32% fog horns

4% coffee with vanilla soy milk

18% I have to pee

23% watching Teddy the porcupine video on youtube over and over again 

7% post nasal drip

16% not able to avoid going to the office

Are These Otters Making Your Beer Hangover Any Better?

Did Someone Say Kitten Doobie?

Does This Overbite Make My Ass Look Fat?

His stripper name is Kirby "Rutabaga" Sanchez 

Green Onion Pancake, Armand, Sally and Mr. Leibowitz

I Love Beer This Much

and I don't care who knows it

It Never Gets Old

What I want to do any time Algae Frankenstein uses the word "ramjammed"

We Always Hang In A Buffalo Stance

I'm Here All Week. Try The Veal.

Question: What do you call a three foot tall psychic who has just escaped from prison?

Answer: A short medium at large

So Don't You Get Fresh With Me

FLEMISH OVEN (verb, noun): A gust of putrid wind trapped in an enclosed compartment. Similar to a dutch oven but only occurs after the ingestion of a large quantity of brussels sprouts.

Tough Questions

Why is this cat is impersonating how Algae Frankenstein drinks from a straw?
Why do I have to be back at work?
Why can't I buy Gator Gum anymore?

My Vacation Is Toast

Going back to work is hard. I do not like it one bit. Not one bit at all. I miss my sweatpants and beer at noon and 11 hour sleeps already. Only 351 days until my next vacation.

Is That The Salton Sea In Your Pocket Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?

The Salton Sea is 225 feet below sea level

It was created by a flood of the Colorado River in 1905

That was not stopped for two years

The flood created the largest lake in California

In the 1950s it was a bustling tourist destination

30% of the total population of the American White Pelican live there

The salinity of the lake is rising so quickly that within a decade or so it will be completely dead

The only fish in the lake now are tilapia

If you have a valid California fishing license you can catch as many as you want

There are over 2 million of them in the Salton Sea

They are tasty in fish tacos

With salsa verde and lots of melted cheese

Hot Tub Margarita Beer Machine

Mr. Bunndini is back from Palm Springs

This is the dump we stayed in

And swam in this dump of a pool

These are the Alexander houses in your neighbourhood

I slept 11 hours every night

But the margaritas gave me heartburn

They Call Me Carrot Top, They Call Me Ginger Balls, They Call Me Blood Nut. That's Not My Name (sung to the tune of that Ting Tings song)

Mr. Firepie is very good at safely negotiating the highways and byways from Los Angeles to Palm Springs and The Salton Sea. Please stay tuned for photographs of dead tilapia and a wide variety of angles of the hot tub and pool.