1. Do not include your babies name on your answering machine message until your baby is physically and emotionally able to call me back if I leave him/her a message.
2. No one wants to see your ultrasound photo.
3. It is wrong to call yourself a "Yummy Mummy" or let anyone else do so on your behalf.
4. If the boundaries of our friendship do not extend to seeing photos of you naked regularly then please resist the urge to share aforementioned photos with me when you are expecting (also btw it does not make you less naked because your husband is standing behind you cradling your milk-laden bosom with an uncomfortable look on his face).
5. Friends don't ask friends to change their babies poopy diapers. It's like waxing your bikini line or doing your taxes; either you do it yourself or pay someone else to do it.
Dear Mr. Bunndini
ReplyDeletePlease post these rules in a more public forum so that I do not have to be subjected to any of the aforementioned scenarios. My sanity depends on it.
Regards
Pollyanna
Dear Pollyanna
ReplyDeleteI will get right on that.
Eternally Yours
Mr. Bunndini