Skinny Dipping With The Aged

My grandmother's name was Hedvig Valentin Lattey. She was a 4'10" nudist spitfire with a thick German accent and these are some of the things she taught me:
• In a pinch boobs can also act as flotation devices.
• Sausages are good at any meal.
• Never run for a bus or a man because another one will come along soon enough.
• That bed is not going to make itself.