It's Not That I Don't Care About _____________

It's just that I don't care about your _____________

Blame It On The Lactobacillus Bulgaricus

The answer to the question of whether that yogurt that was best before 3 weeks ago is still good has been determined to be a resounding no. 

How I Really Feel About Christmas

Is That 51 Live Turtles Smuggled In Your Pants Or Are You Just Glad To See Me?

A man visits a zoo and the only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. It's a shitzu.

Less Humanity More Dinkel

She's Just Thinking With Her Chicken Lady Brain

I'm Taking To You

When you call me on the phone to clarify something I laid out very clearly in an email and then when I don't answer text me to ask me to call you back to explain it then get offended when I suggest you email me any questions you may have about my email to you. 

When I Asked You If You Had Sex With My Brother

When You Want Me To RSVP To Your Free Event

Really November?

How I feel about turning the heat and all the lights on at 1pm today.