New Yorks Hottest Club Is .....

SPASM

Located on the bed on Sunday mornings only this fur ball fest is the creation of mafioso club owner Poo Diamond Phillips. This club has everything: ringworm, gigantic chew toys, sailor hats, dead pigeons, sticks, really smelly mud, a room full of crotches, drugged squirrels.

Hell Is Full Of Musical Amateurs

Band boot camp in Princeton was more exhausting this year than usual. It may have been the highway closure which caused a three hour detour on the drive home (making the total drive time almost six hours, four of which I had to pee). Maybe it was the proliferation of banjos/gigantic beards/hootenanny music or maybe just that it's the 4th year I've done it or the hangover but regardless I'm glad to be back and have spent the day celebrating with a decided lack of human interaction and a seven dollar magical kale banana juice concoction from Whole Foods.

Frankly My Dear I Don't Give A Ham

There's A New Sheriff In Town

and he goes by the name Ronaldo "Corndog" McKenzie

Hamster Jello Situation

Saturday Night's All Right For MuuMuus

Laser Intensity At Target Is Too Low

I think I speak for the group when I say that all the demanding people who have been wasting my time and emotional energy this week should just S a D. Seriously S a big fat greasy D. I will not be taking any calls/emails/texts this weekend unless you are contacting me with a free case of beer or plate of delicious meats and cheeses.

Gretchen Stop Trying To Make Fetch Happen

You're Gonna Make It After All (Or Not)

If I was a deeper thinker I would make a wordy analogy about the changing of the seasons, maybe quote that song by The Byrds, but instead I am just going to simply wish an old friend well on her travels. It has been said Algae Frankenstein that you are just little and, although this past month has shown you to also be fairly little in the big girl pants department, I still wish you nothing but the best in life. Bon voyage!

What's Your Damage Heather?